MY ENCOUNTER WITH THE INNER CHILD by anDorado

MY ENCOUNTER WITH THE INNER CHILD by anDorado

girlOne sunny day in the Summer, I went to a Beach resort with my co-workers, for a 3-day Retreat.  We were just having fun while trying to prepare ourselves for the Lenten Season, when I saw a child.  The child looks like she’s enjoying the company of her own little brothers.  They were playing together, singing together, pissing each other, run around together…a typical school-aged girl.

She’s of small-built body, with a long shiny black hair, having a brown skin complexion (a typical Asian – girl complexion), and she was wearing a knee-length, stripe skirt paired with a white blouse and a red “doll shoes”.  Her hair was tied at the right side of her head with a red ribbon.

I was observing her when from a distance, I heard a voice, coming from an adult woman.  Is this her mother?  My question was finally answered when the girl shouted “I’m coming Momma!  Yes!  I am starved!  I’m just so excited to see what you have prepared for us!”  And then, off she went, and her brothers followed her.  I just couldn’t take my eyes off her, and so my vision followed her until I saw her hug her dad.

What a wonderful family!

I went back to join my friends, we were drained after the day’s activity and decided to have fun with the videoke and x-box prepared by our host for us.  It was physically- exhausting but we were happy and entertained.  That night, I EXPERIENCED BEING A CHILD,  AGAIN! :)

The following day, I met that same girl again, but this time, I saw her crying.  She was so depressed, down-hearted and obviously lonely.  Just the complete opposite of the happy child I saw the other day.  She was alone, trying to dry her tears, so lonely.  I tried to come near and talk to her.

I asked her why she was crying.  Without a word, her tears fell down her cheeks once again.  I tried to calm her down and offered my handkerchief.  It was then, that she said, it was their last day with their mom.  Her mom was scheduled to work to a foreign country.  She said her mom was just so insistent and would not even listen to them, not even to her younger brothers, not even to her father, and not even to…HER!

Such a poor child.  I felt for her.  I felt her heartaches.  I can’t seem to understand why my tears fell at the sight of that child.  Being a school-aged child, she still needed a mother’s care, a mother to comb her hair, to hug her, to coach her on what to do about some “girl-things” because there are some things that only a mother can provide.  I should know.

I should know… because I was that little girl so many years back.  Now, I understand why I still felt so empty.  Now I understand, why in spite of the many chances I had in the past to work in foreign countries and to be able to receive a much higher pay, I still chose to stay with my family, I still chose to cook for them, to be with my two kids every milestone of their lives, just to be a mum for them, the kind of mum I didn’t enjoy much when I was a kid.  Because No amount of money, No material things, and No greater promises, could ever replace the mere presence of a mother in the  lives of her children.

Because of this experience, I was able to meet  my inner child, the child who was trying to hide for a long time inside me.  Now, I concluded that through the years I just tried to suppress every painful memories of my past and tried to cover it with the happy memories of my present with my family.  But there will never be a chance to hide it inside me forever, because the child and myself  is inseparable.  I have decided to move on and not be stuck in my past, because the future is just… shining brightly for me! :)

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I THOUGHT I DONT NEED TO PLAY WITH MY KIDS ANYMORE…by anDorado

I THOUGHT I DONT NEED TO PLAY WITH MY KIDS ANYMORE…by anDorado

I made a research study about the use of Play to be able to understand the colorful world of these “little people”, our kids.

Kids also have “bad moments”.  Sometimes they are fussy, in pain, uncomfortable, depressed, crying, happy, confused, and out of control, especially when they have tantrums.   And when they’re in that bad moments, they are not able to convey their thoughts verbally.  And more often than not, mum like me, tends to have a hard time understanding them, what they want, how they feel and things like that.    We dont want to shout at our kids just so they will hear us.  or probably, blow the eardrums of your kids, just because you’re already shouting at the top of your lungs, forcing them to say what they want so you will understand.  Or probably end up crying because you’re disappointed that you dont seem to get the message from your daughter or your son.  You probably see them playing with their toys, or destroying them, or madly scribbling something on a piece of paper.  But you dont get them to talk about it, and you dont understand why they are behaving that way. Well, probably, its time for you to get up and learn the easy way to understand them:  PLAY WITH THEM, HONEY!

We think our kids already aged so fast that they doesnt need to play anymore.  No!

Drawing or Painting is an example of Play.  We can readily draw some thoughts and emotions of our kids through carefully observing their drawings.  My 9 year old daughter, Ella Sofia, used to draw a big, 2 storey-house, with a car parked outside, having a mom, dad, kuya, and herself holding each others hands, with her favorite pet “popo”.  She used to show me her drawings (which are mostly a picture of a happy family), and i just had one reaction: “very good, Ella! nice drawing” — i painted a smile on my face , to show that i am so pleased with her work of art and to show my approval.  I’ve been seeing drawings like that on top of the table, sometimes inserted in one of her books, and just anywhere in the house.  Until one day, we went to a certain resort, and passed by a big, 2-storey house.  She amazingly pointed to the big house and shouted at the top of her lungs “Wow!  I want to live in a big big house like that! and I will bring our family and popo with me…someday!”  and we laughed!  Later did I realized, I have already seen her dreams and wishes a long time ago, but failed to understand and recognize them—through her drawings.

Play indeed is an important tool to our kids world.  We are able to understand their thoughts, pains, and dreams through Play.  Lest we forget, that toys are their words, and Play is their way to communicate with us!

Mums, let us not get tired of playing with our kids, even just by actively helping them with the right colors they should put on a tail of the dog, or providing them the materials or the toys they needed. We might not know it, WE ARE ALREADY GETTING INTO THE WORLD OF “LITTLE PEOPLE“, our kids!

Our kids, Our happiness!  So, enjoy!

* Title of my research: Effects of Play Therapy to the Pain Management of Post Operative Pediatric Patients at ___________(a government hospital here in my place). If you’re interested with my study, please feel free to contact me, I will be pleased to be of help. Thank you!

Vegetarianism…a Fad?

Vegetarianism…a Fad?.

Vegetarianism…a Fad?

vegiesSome famous people, local celebrities, other health professionalsare into Vegetarianism.  Vegetarians, according to Webster’s dictionary, are the people who does not eat meat, fish, or fowl.  For so many reasons, my family are into it, at least for quiet a time now.

My husband and I, with our two kids, became fond of dining at the fancy restaurants, eating at some locally-acknowledged fast food chains who readily offer some mouth-watering food with so much content of msg(monosodium glutamate), creamy pastries and pastas, palatable- meaty- viands, with unlimited rice, and overflowing drinks…errr… these made me crave for more, so much so that, we chose to spend incredible amount of money, just to get a taste of my once-fav menus.  This just didn’t bother me at all.  I am left justifying it’s fine, I needed this to get me going, to pamper myself, after all, this is the reason why I’m working my ass too hard.  This became our habit!

I am a health professional, I have enough knowledge of the effects of consuming high-fatty and high-salty foods.  Not to mention the increasing mortality and morbidity rate of diseases related to our Lifestyle and the wrong choice of food, and to top it all, Diabetes Mellitus, Hypertension, arthritis, constipation, cardiovascular diseases, obesity—these are just few of the health problems that people nowadays are suffering.  But, having one of these is but a CHOICE!

Cravings?  Yes, I have cravings.  Sugar makes me crave for more.  MSG (monosodium glutamate) makes me crave even more.  I find it kind’a hard to resist.  I thought having to consume these kind of food makes me somebody who is updated with “food that’s in“, just being able to dine at the newly-opened fancy restaurants, having some new experiences to brag about… a never-ending habit.

Sometime this month, we were sent to join an organization of local health professionals.  I, with my family, were made to listen to some lectures on healthy lifestyle, vegetarianism.  It was not my first time to listen to such a lecture.  But my kids were filled with awe.  It was when we went home, that my little girl finally uttered “mum, can we try vegetarianism?” :D It was a surprise!

I said to myself, wheew! This will be another struggle for me.  Another challenge.  Another “try”.  Just stay focus.  Advantage weighs more than the taste.  Challenging food preparations.  Stay simple.  Humming these words to my mind, at least had kept me awake and stayed focus.

Some writers wrote about some celebrities who were vegetarians, for some reasons: to stay fit, to stay healthy, to stay young and adoringly beautiful!  I may have the same reasons as they are, but never to forget, that this is one of the things that we need toHAVE A FULL LIFE!

Being a vegetarian may not be easy, not a walk-in-the-park, but I know, nothing beats determination, motivation and SELF-DISCIPLINE.